Apr 01, 2015 • Jessica Jones
You may recall that last year around this time we recommended the use of semaphores instead of mailing lists and carrier pigeons in place of email - well, we’ve realized the error of our ways. Even your friendly neighborhood Slamdot crew sometimes jumps on the wrong bandwagon (hey, Betamax was a better system, okay?) once in a while, but we know now that pigeons and flags are an outdated, inefficient method of communication.
SMOKE SIGNALS. That’s where it’s at - why limit your reach to the Facebook-using population? 500 million people may use Facebook but smoke signals can be seen by anyone with working eyes. John Peters – you know, the farmer? - told us that while he followed your semaphores for a while last year, he eventually got bored when you didn’t seem to be generating any fresh content (did you really have to keep using those same two flags all year?) and he’d be far more likely to share your updates with his friends if they also came with the pleasant aroma of burning wood.
For a limited time only, have Slamdot build your website and get a FREE AIRPLANE. Yes, you read right. AIRPLANES. Hand made JUST for you, with a minimum of folds for full aerodynamic effectiveness, using nothing but the finest 8 1/2″/11″ printer paper.
Our gorgeously green Slamdot fuzzy dice have become such a hot item that we’ve decided to expand our dice reach and cater to the wider geek community by offering Slamdot polyhedral dice sets! They’ll be the talk of the D&D game in our famously breathtaking green with the 20s on the d20 represented by a Slamdot S! For a nominal additional fee we can even ensure that you never fumble your saving throws again … if you know what we mean, wink wink nudge nudge.
We greatly apologize for this non-update-related segment in our blog, but as many of you know, we moved to a shiny new store last fall, and we’re super wicked happy with our new location … but we seem to have misplaced our stapler. We think we may have left it downtown … or it could have fallen out of the truck along the way … or maybe we left it at Casual Pint? It’s a red swingline, and we’d only just got it. Any information leading to the return of our stapler will be rewarded with A FREE AIRPLANE!